Del-Taco drive up window worker

Today was rough. Very rough. It was one of those days where everything felt like it was crashing down on me. Let me break it down for you. In a fourteen day period I usually will have one great day. One terrible day per week, two almost terrible days per week and the rest are just crummy. Sometimes I guess I will have an occasional okay day.
Let's see, today was the day that I really expected to get some action on the job search. I fired up the laptop with expectations of some very important reply emails. I got one "No thanks" and one "We definatly want to talk with you, but first you need to go to our website and check it out". That is a red flag. Sure enough, it was another light bulb sales job. They want you to pay them four hundred dollars to get started and I get the feeling that they want to talk to everybody who applies. I am drowning here. I keep putting off the inevitable, electrical work. I'm a freaking sparky. No matter what anybody says. It's easy to say "You can be whatever you put your mind to being, you just have to decide and do it." Bullshit. I can't afford to work my way up the company ladder of a company. I have three teenagers. Teenagers are very expensive, I'm not kidding.
I think the thing that I am the most worried about. Atleast it makes me want to cry when I think about it is embarrasing my kids. I don't want them to have to go without because their Dad doesn't have a job. I want to be solid like my Dad was for me. I didn't have to worry about shit. My kids have to worry about health insurance, ours sucks. If the girls get hurt or sick they are nervous to tell us. Except for Mandy, I think she likes it for some reason. We have never had dental insurance. My girls go once in a while. Only when they get a toothache.
Some days bad news just keeps coming. I keep waiting for the good news and occasionally it comes, but most of the time the bad news prevails. Let's see today the temporary license sticker on my truck expired and I can't get it to pass emmissions. My wife's car is now 30 days over due and she let me know in no uncertain terms I was to get it done soon. My 19 year old daughter's car's license is now overdue and my wife let me know that it is also my responsibility to take care of that, as a Dad. I got a letter that my crappy health insurance will be expiring soon. I also came to the realization that I am on my own. I can't find a good job but I have to provide for my family. I try to think of other things, like I said earlier, but obviously I need to be dealing with the problem. I only think of other things at night, when it's quiet and I have time to think. Or my mind has time to think for me. I recieved the news that my wife is completely out of money and her overdraft is maxed. She had a check declined at Wal-Mart, that will make anyone in a good mood. My 19 year old daughter spent her whole paycheck on clothes and a snow boarding outfit, she has no fuel in her car and she doesn't get paid for over a week. My sixteen year old daughter is out of money and out of fuel and she is scared to ask me for money, atleast that's what my wife said. All my girls want to change what they are for Halloween, they all need money to buy new costume's. That's ridiculous, I already paid for one I say, well, all their friends are getting them. What do I do? Just say sorry? You have to be what you said earlier and not what all your friends are going as? It's hard. But my hell, all three of them? It's not like they're little kids. I don't want them to be embarrassed or go without, I want them to feel normal and have things. If all their friends are going as pirates I guess I shouldn't force them to go as an angel because I already bought them a halo and wings, or maybe I should. My mom probably would have.
It just kept coming and coming yesterday. Today is a new day. I just got done with an interview. They wanted me to start asap. It is a call center, I always said I would never work at a call center. All the kids making tons of money, sitting on the phone all day. I would have to wear one of those little headsets like the drive-up window worker at Del-Taco. But I need work and some of them make a lot of cash. The benefits suck and it is minimum wage plus commission. Starting out could be tough and if I fail it will be real tough. We'll be totally broke at Christmas time. I'm scared. Atleast Michael Scott worked at a call center in the last episode of the "Office". He did quit at the end though.
Sorry if this entry is a little boring, well I know it is a little boring.
peace.